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Villains Tonight 2!

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(The audience applauds, some even cheer as Ursula (Angela O'Malley) turns around and is all smiles to them. Panic even shouts out, "I love you!" to her. During her number, "Poor Unfortunate Souls", the sea witch flirts a bit with Emily O'Malley's husband Patrick. On the dancing bit, Madame Leota is seen helping out the dancers and Ursula with the song. Pain and Panic even contribute some of their own choreography to the number. The number ends with a big pose from all of them and applause. Ruby leads a standing ovation, impressed by this Ursula and the little solos Madame Leota has in the number. Ursula thanks the audience during the applause and cheers, and casts a spell on the Evil-O-Meter causing it to increase a bit. Outside of the show, Madame Leota is thanked for saving the show. As her reward, Ursula points out to go through the Elephant Graveyard; thanking her, Madame Leota swims up to the surface as Pain and Panic drop off their invitation to Ursula, asking her to help out Hades. Curious about where Pain and Panic are, Hades brings out his phone and calls them.)
Pain+Panic: *singing* Poor unfortunate souls, in pain (Pain: I'm pain!) , in need (Panic: I'm not need!). That was fun!
Panic: Yeah, especially the lady with the gypsy blouse. Who was that?
Pain: Yeah, I would've loved to invite her to help out the boss. *Suddenly they hear-- "I can't feel nothing at all!" from Pain's phone, causing them to squeal in delight. They then start to rock out to it*
Panic: Man, I love Zydrate Anatomy.
Pain: *pulls out his cell phone and sees the caller ID. It's--* YIKE IT'S THE BOSS! WHAT'LL WE DO?!?!
Panic: I'm not gonna answer it, you answer it.
Pain: No way! You answer it!
Panic: No, you.
Pain: You!
Panic: You!
Pain: You!
Panic: You infinity!
Pain: *sigh* Fine. *answers it, trying to sound sexy but failing* Hello?
Hades: *on the phone* Where are you, you duncebuckets?
Pain+Panic: Um, at the Undersea Lounge?
Hades: (on the phone) *sigh* Did you deliver one of the invitations?
Panic: Yup. We gave one to Ursula after her show.
Pain: Um, boss why do you want us to invite the Evil Queen and Maleficent? Couldn't you just poof them to the Underworld?
Hades: *on the phone* NO! *Pain and Panic feel a bolt of lightning on their butts as he zapped them* You have to invite them as they're a special case. Now then, have you invited the Queen of Hearts?
Pain: Well we fell down the rabbit hole, but got lost in the Tulgey Wood. So we gave up, and--
Hades: Don't make me come up there! *zaps Pain and Panic again* Deliver the invitation to her or else heads are gonna roll! And we wouldn't want that!
Pain+Panic: Yes sir! *they scramble off as we turn back to Hades*
Hades: *sigh* Idiots. Let's see who else I can call in...*looks through the villain phonebook and finds--* Gothel. Hmmm....yeah I wouldn't want somebody searching for a fountain of youth in a princess with magical hair. Trust me, she's crazy. *peruses through the villain phonebook some more and finds--* Negaduck. Well....It wouldn't hurt. But the last time I invited him there, well, it wasn't pretty. *peruses through the villain phonebook and finds--* The Sanderson sisters. Yeah, they're child-killers even though they sing well. Since some of you folks are children, I find bringing them here as a must-avoid. *peruses through the villain phonebook and finds--* Governor Radcliffe. Nah, who would want that gold digger in the party? *peruses through the villain phonebook and finds--* Madame Medusa. I don't think so. Someone obsessed with a diamond gets kinda obnoxious after a while. *peruses again and finds--* Judge Frollo. I don't want a hypocritical crazy monster! I'd rather have the Horned King than him. *peruses again and finds--* Oooh, this one looks promising. Magica DeSpell. Oh, her. Yeah, if the lady wanted a dime, she should've gotten an honest job. *peruses again and finds--* Gaston. Hmmm.....yeah, if I wanted a narcissistic, sadistic, psychopathic, pseudo ladies man, I'd call Orin Scrivello! *audience laughs as he resumes perusing through the phonebook* And they thought I was the crazy one. Let's see...we need someone like...*spotting a certain name in the book, he gasps* Oh! This is perfect! *sets the phonebook down* We need someone like SCAR! Ha ha! Okay Underworld, BE PREPARED! 'Cause you ain't seen nothin' yet.
(As the scene changes, Aqua ponders, "I wonder who will be playing him. I hope they do the role justice." Demyx nods in agreement adding, "He or she must've impressed Sapphire to get the role." Count D looks in the program, and sees who has the role. He smiles knowingly, and keeps silent. Meanwhile, Madame Leota is seen in the elephant graveyard, looking at a map to get to the Underworld.)
Madame Leota: Wow, and I thought Disney Parks were huge. *places the map away as the audience laughs, notices the giant elephant skull and gets out her Keyblade after bringing out her lantern to give her light* I wonder if its brains are still in there...I'd better check it out. *Just then, her phone blasts out, "Vampire Club" by Voltaire. Sighing she answers it* Yes?
Constance: *on phone* You sure you wanna peek in that skull? I'd check on out of here if I were you. You're way beyond the boundaries of the mortal realm.
Madame Leota: Well, look at that! The Black Widow is scared!
Constance: *on phone* It's Miss Black Widow to you, Miss Deetz. And right now, you could be in danger if you stay here any longer.
Madame Leota: Danger? Ha! I walk on the wild side, I laugh in the face of danger! *laughs to prove her point only to hear hyena laughter. This causes her to hang up quickly and hide*
(She peeks from her hiding place behind a pile of bones and sees hyenas coming out of hiding to dance. At the top of another pile of bones she sees Scar (Ghirahim) standing regally; the moment he had appeared, everyone's jaws dropped open in surprise. Madame Leota covers her opened mouth and watches in awe as they sing and dance, "Be Prepared" although she's pulled into it by Scar himself and given a kiss on the hand by him too. Everyone applauds and cheers the performance, and Madame Leota recovers from her swooning state as the Evil-O-Meter fills up a little more.)
Madame Leota: Wow, what a show. *looks at the stars starting to come out* Uh oh, I don't have time. I'd better get going. *turns to leave only for Shenzi (Alexis) to stop her*
Shenzi: What's the hurry, Leota? You just got here. Besides, we'd love for you to stick around for dinner.
Banzai (Jaden): Yeah, we can have whatever's lion around. *he, Shenzi, and Ed (Syrus) laugh at his joke*
Shenzi: Ooh, I've got one. Make mine a cub sandwich. *They laugh until Ed notices something and tries to point it out* Hey, what is it, Ed?
Banzai: *notices Madame Leota had vanished* Yo, did we order this dinner to go?
Shenzi: No.
Banzai: *pointing out Madame Leota rushing through the tables* 'Cause there she goes!
(The hyenas chase after her. Madame Leota quickly uses some magic to stall their progress to catch her. She climbs up to the stage, exhausted, only to be helped up and cornered by Scar. She pulls out her Keyblade to defend herself only to notice the hyenas behind her.)
Banzai: *close to her ear* Going somewhere?
Scar: Hold it, all of you! *the hyenas look at him in surprise, Madame Leota looks at him, confused.*
Banzai: But boss, I'm hungry!
Shenzi: If we don't eat, Ed'll act Audrey II on us and--*Scar holds a hand up to them. All the hyenas skulk back as he says, "She is a guest, not food. After all, any friend of Facilier's is a friend of mine."* (muttering under her breath) Killjoy.
Madame Leota: *who by this time had aimed her Keyblade at Scar's throat after he makes his way to her up the top of the pile of bones* Stay back, I’m warning you. I’ve got a Keyblade and I’m not afraid to use it.
Scar: *nudging her Keyblade aside with one finger* Who said I was going to hurt you? *Madame Leota looks at him, confused as he inches closer to her face* Looking for someone? You seem to be in a bit of a rush.
Madame Leota: *cautiously* Why yes, yes I am looking for someone. I am looking for Hades, the Lord of the Underworld.
Scar: I know exactly who you are speaking of. *pointing out the path* Just down that path there, brave Leota. *she starts to leave only for him to grab her wrist and have her turn to him* Do me a favor though. Promise me you won’t run into that dreadful Horseman.
Madame Leota: I’ll see what I can do to fulfill your request. In the meantime, I’ll do what I can. And, thank you.
Scar: Of course, Leota. *lets her wrist go* By the by, are you a gambling fortune teller?
Madame Leota: No. Not really. Why?
Scar: No reason. Run along now, be careful. And remember, it’s our little secret. *Madame Leota looks at him warily and then leaves*
(Madame Leota then goes through the Hinterland forest after "wildebeest" with "zebra skin" potatoes (filet mignon and potatoes topped with bleu cheese crumbles) is dropped off to the bride and groom to go with their Facilier inspired drink, "Friends on the Other Side" (grape juice with cranberry liqueur and a talisman-shaped cherry in the drink with a skull-shaped orange wedge), and passes by Pain and Panic who are chased by Lock (Callie), Shock (Marie), and Barrel (Frisk) to get the invitations and drop off Snake and Spider Stew (ramen soup in green colored broth with soba noodles, and spider-shaped veggies and hard-boiled eggs) to the confused bride and curious groom. One of the invitations drops near her feet and she picks it up.)
Madame Leota: Hmmm....*she smiles and pockets it in her satchel. She then starts to sing, "The Viper's Drag" only to come upon a certain holiday door.* I wonder...*she opens the jack o' lantern door and jumps in.* Oooh, it's dark in here. But I'm not afraid. *she pulls out her Keyblade just in time for everything suddenly glows in the dark including the roulette floor she's standing on. Looking about she sees bats, and skeletons in torture devices in neon colors. A pair of dice falls down towards her and she catches them in her free hand*
???: Well, well, well, what have we here?
Madame Leota: I might say the same about you, whatever you are.
???: Who, me? I’m just little old Oogie Boogie. You know, the shadow on the moon at night, filling your dreams to the brim with fright!
Madame Leota: If you are that, how come I can't see you? What makes you so villainous?
???: Listen, doll face. I’m the stuff you and everyone else’s nightmares are made of.
Madame Leota: I find that hard to believe, Mr. Potato Sack!
(Madame Leota turns around, and she and the audience gasp in surprise. There stands a man in mafia gangster/The Viper's Drag attire with green and burlap colored patches on the outfit and hat (a sharp looking hat, a pinstriped jacket and pants with glow in the dark patchwork, fingerless gloves, and snappy shoes). This is Oogie Boogie (Marvin) and he looks at Leota smugly as she aims her Keyblade at his throat.)
Oogie: Tell me something, gypsy lady. Are you a gambling girl?
Madame Leota: No, not particularly. I'm more of a cards' lady myself.
Oogie: You're jokin', you're jokin', I can't believe my eyes. *nudging Madame Leota's Keyblade aside* You're jokin' me, you gotta be, no matter how she tries. She's ancient, she's ugly, I don't know which is worse. *aside to audience* I might just split a seam now if I don't die laughing first.
Madame Leota: *offended, aside to audience, pointing out Oogie* Who does he think he is?
Oogie: *singing* When Mr. Oogie Boogie says there's trouble close at hand, *The three come in, with a breathless Pain and Panic following after.* you'd better pay attention now, 'cause I'm the Boogie Man. And if you aren't shakin' there's something very wrong. *close to Madame Leota's ear causing her to flinch but not move from her pose* 'Cause this may be the last time you hear the Boogie song. Whoo~
Lock+Shock: *calling over to them in song* WHOA!
Oogie: *spinning one of the torture devices onto the skeletons in it* Whoa~
Skeletons: OWWW!
Oogie: Whoa!
Barrel: Wow!
L+S+B+Oogie: He's/I'm the Oogie Boogie Man.
Madame Leota: *to Pain and Panic* This dude's supposed to be the cause of all nightmares? Hah, I've seen scarier. *Pain and Panic suddenly stumble back in fright as Oogie pops up between them*
Oogie: *advancing toward Pain and Panic, cornering them*  Well if I'm feeling antsy and I've nothin' much to do, I might just cook a special batch of snake and spider stew! And don't you know the one thing that would make it work so nice? Two little imps who look like wimps to add a little spice!
Madame Leota: Whaooo!
Oogie: Whoa!
Pain+Panic: OH NO!
Oogie: OHHHHHHHH!
L+S+B: Whoa!
Oogie: Aw yeah! I'm the Oogie Boogie Man!
Madame Leota: I don't have time for this. I gotta get out of here! *tries climbing out with Pain and Panic only to have their way out blocked by Lock, Shock, and Barrel. as she fights the 3 mischief makers with her Keyblade and some of her magic* Release me now or you must face the dire consequences!
Pain+Panic: Lord Hades is expecting me--
All 3: --so please come to your senses!
Oogie: HA! You're jokin' you're jokin. I can't believe my ears. Would someone shut those idyuts up? I'm drownin' in my tears. They're funny, I'm laughin', you really are too much. *to Madame Leota who points her Keyblade at him* And now with your permission, I'm going to do my stuff.
Madame Leota: *sarcastically* Oh I'm so scared, what are you going to do? Something that'll make one of us go boohoo?
Oogie: I'm gonna do the best I can. *the roulette floor springs to life and the spring pad causes the seven of them to bounce off and land near certain tables on their feet. Oogie stands near where Becky as Tiana and TJ as a human version of Audrey II are* Wait, where are my dice? We can't start playing without 'em.
Madame Leota: Are you looking for these? *opens her hand to reveal the dice* Ladies first! *she tosses the dice and they land on seven* Well, well. A 7. Looks like it's my turn.
Oogie: I thought you said you weren’t a gambling girl.
Madame Leota: In most cases I’m not. But there are some cases where I am one.
Pain: Ooh this is getting good!
Panic: I got the popcorn, Pain!
Lock: Get the camera, Barrel!
Oogie: *later in the gambling fight as they're watching this, Barrel taking pics, and Pain and Panic chomping on popcorn* You're messing with the wrong Boogieman. *throws down the dice that were bounced up to him. They land on two* What?!?! Snake eyes?!?!
Madame Leota: Too bad for you.
Oogie: Don't get cocky. *slams his foot down on the floor making the dice become a seven* WHOAAAA, the sound of rolling dice to me is music in the air. 'Cause I'm a gamblin' boogieman although I don't play fair. It's much more fun I must confess when lives are on the line. Not mine of course, but yours old girl, now that'll be just fine.
Madame Leota: *as the two of them fight* Release us fast or you will have to answer for this heinous act!
Oogie: Oh sister, you're something; you put me in a spin! The boys aren't comprehending the position that they're in.
Lock: It's hopeless--
Shock: --you're finished.
Barrel: You haven't got a prayer!
Oogie: *as Pain and Panic stumble over to Madame Leota. The three of them are suddenly enchanted* 'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie--
All 4: *as Madame Leota, Pain, and Panic are forced to do a Thriller-esque dance routine with Pain and Panic screaming, "Oh no! Not the THRILLER!"* --and you ain't going nowhere! *he then marches over to the group of three and--* Boo! *Pain and Panic scream and trip over themselves as the Evil-O-Meter fills up a bit and the audience cheers*
Madame Leota: *serious throughout the whole thing* I'm not amused. But if you really want to amuse someone...*she slips out the invitation and hands it to Oogie* See you there, if you can make it. *She then scrambles off before anyone could say anything*
Pain+Panic: Who was that?
(The scene then changes to Kronk (Alphys) chasing after a certain llama only to fail miserably.)
Kronk: Rats! He got away! *notices the Evil-O-Meter* Ooh, I wonder what this is....*goes over to get a better look at it* I'm sure Yzma would love this.
Yzma (Undyne): *noticed Kronk looking at it as she enters* KROOOOONNNNK! *Kronk squeals in fright as the audience laughs* What are you doing? I will not have my henchman squeal like a pig!
Kronk: *turns to Yzma* Then don't sneak up on me! Look what I found. *points out the Evil-O-Meter to her*
Yzma: Hey, is that--? *examines it closer* *gasp* It is! It's an Evil-O-Meter! Oh no, it's too close to E!
Kronk: E for Evil?
Yzma: No, E for Empty, like your head.
Kronk: Hey, that's uncalled for.
Yzma: KROOONK! Come, we must find a way to help fill it up with evil. Then, we might get invited to help out Lord Hades himself!
Madame Leota: *offstage* Excuse me, is something burning?
Kronk: *gasp* MY SPINACH PUFFS! *rushes off causing the audience to laugh. He then comes back holding a plate of spinach puffs with tzatziki sauce, and a light salad of olives, feta, tomatoes, and lettuce* Saved 'em!
Yzma+Madame Leota: That's great! Wonderful! Very good job!
Kronk: *to the bride and groom after dropping it off at their table* Watch it, they're still hot.
Ruby+Erik: *as Kronk climbs back upstage* Thank you.
Yzma: Ok....now that that's out of the way! TO THE SECRET LAB! *pointing out two levers* Pull the lever, Kronk!
Kronk: Right! *goes over stage left and pulls lever only for water to fall on Yzma* Oops, wrong lever?
Yzma: *spits out water* Actually, yes. Wrong lever, but also right. *Shakes the water out of her* I needed that, I was getting thirsty. *Audience laughs. Kronk pulls the second lever and a roller coaster car appears onstage as Two Brains' voice says, "Please keep all arms and legs inside the vehicle!" in English and Spanish. And the roller coaster leads them all the way down to the secret lab (Kronk screaming, "Yzma, put your hands in the air!" along the way). The two of them high-five each other after climbing out of the roller coaster car which disappears shortly after.* Ah, how shall we bring more evil? Wait, *snaps her fingers* I know! I'll do a lavish production number about a city. And how they worship one person and one person only! Guess who it is, Kronk?
Kronk: Okay, um....Is it you?
Yzma: That's right. It's ME! This will be great! IT'S BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!
(Yzma then leads the song and dance of "Yzmopolis" complete with Kronk shaking his booty with the ensemble. The Evil-O-Meter then fills up as the audience applauds and Kronk whips out a sign that says, "Intermission!" The curtain then falls and the lights come up.)
Ruby: Wow....just wow.
Erik: That was....fun!
Dr. Facilier: *appearing beside them* Enjoying yourselves? I know I am.
Erik: How'd you get here?
Dr. Facilier: Easy, I walked. *shuffles his Tarot cards* Now let's see what the future holds for the both of you. *he whistles over Madame Leota who floats over to him and the two of them shuffle their cards and place them out in front of Ruby and Erik respectively*
Ruby: Have you two seen my sister by chance? The last time I saw her was at the wedding ceremony.
Dr. Facilier: I did. She was up there on that stage as Madame Leota. *Erik spits his cocktail in surprise*
Yakko: *popping up in front of Ruby and Erik dressed as Puck* Hey there you two.
Wakko: *popping up beside his brother dressed as Trinculo* Congrats on your marriage!
Dot: *dressed as Juliet's nurse, nudging Paige dressed as Rapunzel over* Don’t be shy, Paige. Give them the fairy cakes you and your mommy created. *Paige shyly hands them the fairy cakes. Ruby smiles kindly at her and thanks her. The three of them lead Paige back to her mom after Paige says, "The show is great!"*
(Ruby and Erik turn over their cards. The first three show Erik's heartbreak, finding a new family in the von Krolock count and his son, Erik and Ruby meeting for the first time and finding kindred spirits. The other three show Ruby with a graduation gown and cap, music notes, a quill pen and paper, and other academic symbols spanning out from her as Erik's hands "hold her", them at their ceremony, after seven years of waiting and four years of engagement, getting married to the loves of their lives, and the last one surprises Facilier and Leota. It shows Edward, Rosina, Tamino and Rose Quartz waving at them as if to say "We're waiting in the future.")
Dr. Facilier: Friends of yours?
Erik: *a soft smile gracing his features* You could say that.
Dr. Facilier: Well, I hope you two have a happy marriage. Leota and I were wondering, how are you two enjoying the show?
Erik: Well, I certainly wasn't expecting it, but my sister-in-law has quite a sense of humor for what I see as fun. And unlike my old home at the opera house, the actors are fairly sound in terms of musicality/singing ability.
Ruby: I cheered for Ursula. Nice choice. Though I'm surprised my sister didn't sing the role.
Sapphire: *popping up beside them* Sing for what role?
Erik: Oh there you are, Sapphire. Where have you been?
Sapphire: Didn't the Shadowman tell you?
Firemoon: *popping up beside them dressed in a black hood hiding his costume till Act 2* Are you two kissing in public? Please don't, there are kids around.
Sapphire+Ruby: DAD!
Sapphire: I would think you'd trust Erik by now. He waited until Ruby was of age to propose, and they both waited until she finished her studies. He may have killed in the past, but so did you in the war that took you from us. And remember, I never stopped writing to you when they thought you were dead.
Firemoon: *sigh* You're right. I guess while my back was turned, you both grew up. *sniff* I should've been here for the both of you and I'm sorry. *hugs Ruby and Erik saying, "Congrats to the both of you"* By the by, I can't wait for the second act.
Delete: *Calling to Sapphire and Firemoon* Your majesties! Intermission's almost over!
Sapphire: Be right over! See ya! *runs off*
Firemoon: You folks are in for a surprise! *leaves*
(Everyone returns back to their seats as Ruby and Erik are served Royalberry Ice Cream. The entr'acte starts up with one of the villains Wuya (Daisy Sarasar) noticing a strange magical presence. This is Madame Leota's magic, the others point out it could be their chance to strike and kill the Goddess of Destiny, Madame Leota. Some of the villains portrayed by the Sodor Singers sing "In the Dark of the Night" with James dressed as a human version of the Horned King doing the solo and Firemoon throwing off his cloak revealing his costume Master Xehanort crying out the final line, "SHE'LL BE MINE!" after rising out of the cauldron to the last few verses before his line. "I will go after her myself!" Master Xehanort (King Firemoon) declares before vanishing to applause and cheers. The scene then changes to a dark forest. A storm is brewing, and a silhouette of Melanie Ravenswood (Rosalina) is seen as Madame Leota walks past her, shivering in the cold. Melanie murmurs the opening lines to "Wolf Song" by Omnia and no sooner is she finished and gone than Master Xehanort appears in front of Madame Leota, startling her into bringing out her Keyblade. Master Xehanort tries to sweet talk her into letting him help her in the song, but she refuses and the two of them commence in an epic fight. Near the last strains of the song, Madame Leota stabs Master Xehanort in the heart, causing him to fall down and disintegrate into darkness. Bruised but triumphant, Madame Leota raises her Keyblade in victory through cheers as the Evil-O-Meter fills up some more. She then collapses against a tree to rest and recover. Pain and Panic are soon heard wandering through the forest.)
Panic: *offstage* Brrrr, it's getting cold, Pain.
Pain: *offstage* No kidding. I hope we'll find--*gasp* LOOK PANIC! *rushes out to find Madame Leota resting against the tree* Hey, are you all right, ma'am?
Madame Leota: The name's Leota. And yes, I'm fine. I've had worse scrapes than this, can't think of any right now.
Panic: *as he goes over to them* How do you do? Wait, Leota?!?! As in the fortuneteller?
Madame Leota: Yup. I was going to see your boss to see if he can get me back into my crystal ball form.
Panic: That's a shame. I think you're cute this way.
Madame Leota: You're just saying that. *rummages through her satchel and brings out bandages and salves for her wounds as Pain says, "We shouldn't stand there gawking. Come on, let's help her out."* Oh, thanks you two. Now why are you two out on Halloween night? You should be having fun.
(As they help Madame Leota bandage her wounds from the battle, Pain and Panic explain their predicament to her. Worried for Hades, Leota agrees to help out surprising Pain and Panic who thank her. Just then, Br'er Rabbit (Chopper) rushes past them, and they suddenly see two familiar silhouettes rushing by them, causing Pain and Panic to fall to the ground.)
Pain: *as the three of them get up and dust themselves off* Who or what was that?
Madame Leota: Only one way to find out. *she snaps her fingers and six skeletons (Jack Jr and Zack, Jack Skelington, Brook, Sans, and Papyrus) dressed in 1920s charleston attire appear* Go ahead and help us chase after them. Maybe throw a little dance in there if you want, but see who they are! *Zack and Jack Jr salute her and they scramble offstage*
(A chase sequence complete with a dance in it occurs to the tune of the "Bella Donna Twist" from the Cirque du Soleil show, "Kurios". The song ends as Br'er Rabbit escapes and the two figures that chased after him are exhausted and ticked off. Madame Leota, Pain, and Panic come over after Pain catches his breath. Madame Leota lifts up her lantern to reveal the figures. It's Br'er Fox (Sly Cooper) and Br'er Bear (Murray), this causes the real Br'er Fox to spit out his cranberry cocktail in surprise.)
Br'er Fox (Sly): *shaking his fist out to the audience* Darn that pesky Br'er Rabbit! One of these days, I'll get him for sure!
Br'er Bear (Murray): Um, Br'er Fox.
Br'er Fox: *pacing about completely ignoring him* But Br'er Rabbit always gets away and this ticks me off like a jazz-playing alligator with a bad sunburn.
Br'er Bear: Br'er Fox!
Br'er Fox: *lifting his hatchet up causing Pain and Panic to back away and hide behind Madame Leota's legs* If that sneaky Br'er Rabbit gets away from me again, so help me I'll--
Br'er Bear: BR'ER FOX!
Br'er Fox: *turns to Br'er Bear, aiming the hatchet at his neck* What is it, Br'er Bear?
Madame Leota: *to Br'er Bear* Allow me. *aiming a ball of magic at Br'er Fox* Mr. Fox, put that thing back where it came from or so help me--
Br'er Fox: All right, all right, little lady. No need to tell me twice. *brings the hatchet back to his side* Besides, Br'er Bear would start singing that song again.
Br'er Bear: Come on, you know I love that musical. *Midna snickers*
Br'er Fox: *looking skeptically at Madame Leota* And you’re supposed to be? *Madame Leota smiles smugly and pinches his nose* OW! Why is she looking at us like that?
Madame Leota: *raises her arms up as winds swirl around, causing the gang to get a little cold* Dark spirits from the grave come forth!
Br'er Bear: Dark spirits? OH NO, NO NO NO NO NO! *Leota turns to him* Please don’t, Leota. I’m already scared enough as it is.
Madame Leota: That’s better. *waves her arms once and all is quiet. Br'er Bear lets out a sigh of relief*
Br'er Fox: Man, that was weird. Okay, come on Br'er Bear. Why don't we go see the Evil Queen for advice on how to catch him?
Madame Leota: *sidesteps in front of Br'er Fox* Did you say the Evil Queen?
Br'er Fox+Br'er Bear: *warily* Yes?
Pain: What a coincidence.
Panic: Yeah, we're looking for her ourselves as well.
Br'er Bear: Guess that settles it. Come on, let's go.
(The group of 5 hustles up and start on their way. Along the way Madame Leota looks warily about her, her Keyblade about her.)
Madame Leota: You know something? I wouldn't want to be out on a night like this.
Br'er Fox: Me neither.
Br'er Bear: I'd rather be eating some honey right now.
Br'er Fox: Br'er Bear! You already had a snack of berries before we left. Besides, honey is Winnie the Pooh's treat.
Br'er Bear: But he's a bear, and I'm a bear! So we both eat honey! *Br'er Fox groans, "No comment."*
Pain: Um, Leota? Why wouldn't you want to be out on a night like this?
Panic: It's beautiful out tonight.
Madame Leota: Spirits worse than me lurk about here in these woods on a night like this. But as long as HE isn't among them we're safe.
Panic: He?
Pain: He who?
Madame Leota: *stops in the middle of the woods* You mean you don't know the story?
Pain+Panic: *confused* No?
Madame Leota: All right, I'll enlighten you. But I warn you, it's frightening. *ahem* Just gather round and I'll elucidate on what goes on outside when it gets late. Long about midnight the ghosts and banshees get together for their nightly jamborees.
Br'er Fox: *in devilish glee as he makes faces to emphasize certain parts* There's things with horns and saucer eyes. And some with fangs about this size!
Br'er Bear: Some are fat, and some are thin.
Pain+Panic: And some don't even wear their skin?
Madame Leota+Br'er Fox: Yup, I'm tellin ya folks, it's a frightful sight to see what goes on on Halloween night!
Panic: *gasp* But tonight's Halloween night!
Madame Leota: *dark glee* Then he'll be coming.
(The five of them sing and dance "The Headless Horseman" number with Madame Leota leading causing the Evil-O-Meter to fill up some more. Just then, they hear the sound of hooves clobbering to the ground, and all split up and hide. Riding past them is the Headless Horseman himself (Jacko Lantern). With a hearty evil laugh, he gallops off in the distance and everyone comes out of their hiding places. The five of them continue on until they see the Evil Queen's castle in the distance. But just as they reached the castle--)
Pain: Guys, I'm getting hungry.
Panic: Pain, we don't have time to get a snack.
Pain: My tummy's all rumbly.
Br'er Fox: So is Br'er Bear's. But you two are going to have to wait. *Br'er Bear, reluctant he may be, nods in agreement*
Pain: BUT I'M STARVING! *he suddenly bumps into an old peddler woman at the castle door* Oops, sorry.
Madame Leota: Good evening, ma'am. I don't think it's safe to be out on a night like this.
Pain: Hi creepy lady, I'm hungry.
Br'er Bear: Me too.
Panic: Pain, be nice.
????: *hands out two apples to Br'er Bear and Pain* Perhaps a shiny delicious apple will ease your hunger.
Hades: *echoing over the wind as Br'er Bear thanks the old woman* Don't eat any apples, apples, apples...
Pain: Eat apples, check!
Panic+Madame Leota+Br'er Fox: Pain! Br'er Bear! NO! *the two of them take one bite of the apple and suddenly let out a fart. This causes an awkward silence and the three of them reacting grossed out differently to back away a bit from them causing the audience to laugh*
???: Um, out for a stroll today, are we?
Madame Leota: Not really. I'm here to help Pain and Panic while also on my way to ask their boss to turn me back to normal.
Br'er Fox: Br'er Bear and I are looking for someone for advice on a certain situation.
Panic: And Pain and I are supposed to deliver the invitations.
Pain: One of them's for the Evil Queen. She's also the person Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear are looking for.
???: The Evil Queen, you say? I happen to know her.
All 4: *as Madame Leota crosses her arms and smiles smugly* You do?
???: Extremely well. *chuckle* *inclines Madame Leota over to help her out. Leota complies and as she and Leota conjure up smoke and lightning, she says--* Lightning cause a change of scene, reveal her now the Evil Queen.
(This causes the 4 to be dumbstruck. When the smoke clears and Madame Leota moves over to the group, there stands the Evil Queen (Yuko Ichihara) regal and fair.)
Evil Queen: Someone looking for the Evil Queen?
Br'er Fox+Br'er Bear: Holy Hera!
Madame Leota: *bowing to her* A pleasure to see you, your majesty!
Panic: Wow, two! Two girls in one!
Pain: Just like Sailor Moon!
Pain+Panic: *as they dance a bit* Fighting evil by moonlight!
Panic: That’s right, Usagi and Sailor Moon, same person
Pain: Say, ma'am. Why do you go around as a creepy old lady when you are smokin' hot? *Br'er Bear nods in agreement saying, "What he said."*
Evil Queen: I'd prefer "Fairest of them all" but I'll take hot. Now you said something about an invitation. *Panic hands it to her and she opens it.* (reading the invitation) "Dearest, in a jam. Need evil to keep my gig in the Underworld. Help out an old friend~? XO, Hades."
Br'er Fox: And to put proof in this claim, Br'er Bear and I got invited too. *They whip out invitations from underneath their hats*
Pain+Panic: *teasingly* So will you come and help out your boyfriend? *they start making random kissing and exaggerated romance noises causing the audience to laugh*
Evil Queen: HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! We just had an interesting weekend together once in Rio. *nostalgic sigh* Cachaça in the moonlight....*This moment is broken by Br'er Bear and Pain letting out another fart. Br'er Fox coughs into his hands, Panic gags at the scent*
Madame Leota: EWWWWW, GROSS!
Pain+Br'er Bear: What?
Br'er Fox+Panic: Hello, poisoned apple!!
Evil Queen: I'm surprised you're still standing there. *Madame Leota nods in agreement adding, "Not everyone survives a poisoned apple except if they're woken by love's first kiss."*
Pain: Whatever. *as Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear ask the Evil Queen for advice* I hope we still have enough time to set things right.
Panic: *after Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear finish talking with the Evil Queen* As do I. But we can't waste anymore of it, we've gotta invite Maleficent.
Evil Queen: Did you say Maleficent?
Pain+Panic: Yes.
Evil Queen: But I'm evil enough. What would Hades want with her? *It's then they hear a classical version of Lady Gaga's "Judas" playing as smoke appears. It then disperses revealing Maleficent (Garnet Andromeda) in all her glory*
Madame Leota: Cool, Lady Gaga's in the show! *audience laughs*
Maleficent: *descending down the stairs to the group* Well, well, well. What a glittering assemblage. Madame Leota. *Leota bows to her saying, "Your excellency!"* Evil Queen!
Evil Queen: *bitterly* Maleficent.
Br'er Fox: You two know each other?
Br'er Bear: How is that possible?
Pain: You took the words right out of my mouth. *Panic nods in agreement*
Maleficent+Evil Queen: Youtube!
Madame Leota: And also Cards Against Humanity chatrooms. *Evil Queen tries to shush her but too late, as some CAH fans cheer*
Panic: We've got an invitation for you.
Maleficent: *as Panic hands her the invitation* For me? But I'm never invited to anything.
Panic: Well, now you are. *Maleficent opens the invitation, smiling*
Maleficent: (reading the invitation as Evil Queen scoffs during part of it) "Dearest, need evil in the Underworld, and you're the most evil of them all. Come quickly! XO, Hades."
Evil Queen: Puh-lease, witch! Everyone knows I'm the fairest of them all and the most evil!
Maleficent: News flash, darling. Snow White's the fairest of them all. And last I checked, mistress of all evil is my title, not yours! Hades thinks so too. *smugly* Perhaps that's why he's taking me to Mexico this year.
Pain+Panic: *with the French Peas in the audience* Oh no she didn't!
Madame Leota: I think she'll need ice for that burn. *Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear nod in agreement*
Evil Queen: *after pulling out a gold and jade lacquer hand mirror with a jeweled Magic Mirror face on the back* Travel mirror in my hand, who's the most evil in the land?
Maleficent: Still talking to mirrors, eh? Wow, you really have snapped!
Evil Queen: *angrily as she turns to her* I'll snap...YOU! *the two of them march towards each other to fight but Br'er Fox and Madame Leota quickly step between them as they say, "Oh no you don't!"*
Br'er Bear: We don't want blood on our hands. Besides there's kids around.
Pain: Br'er Bear's right. Now what can we do to solve this problem? *They all start thinking as the Jeopardy theme plays*
Panic: Ooh, we could do a Boo-off!
All (except Panic): Nah! *The Jeopardy theme plays again as they keep thinking*
Pain: How about a pie eating contest?
All (except Pain): Nope.
Madame Leota: The Queen might poison her opponents. We want this to be fair. *the Jeopardy theme resumes*
Br'er Fox: What about Super Smash Bros.?
Br'er Bear: Or Hyrule Warriors?
All (except Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear): Hmmm, I don't think so.
Maleficent: Maybe later, but not now. *The Jeopardy theme resumes until--*
Philippe: Hey, where is zee show?
Madame Leota: *to Philippe* Lost in Wonderland along with your head! *rimshot as audience laughs, Philippe having a look of surprise on his face and then snickers a bit* *gasp* THAT'S IT!
Pain+Panic: What's it?
Madame Leota: I KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO TONIGHT!
Jean-Claude: About time. I was about to fall asleep. *Philippe nods in agreement saying, "Moi aussi."*
Maleficent: Be careful. Did you touch a spinning wheel before you came here? *rimshot as audience laughs, Jean-Claude looking surprised*
Evil Queen: Another thing, lay off the appletinis. *The two peas and audience burst out laughing as a rimshot is heard*
Br'er Fox: What is this? An insult magic fight, or at least an insult battle? 'Cause we've got the snacks. *he and Br'er Bear whip out some southern styled desserts and root beer. They give two birch beer bottles, gugelhupf, beignets, and strawberry mousse to the bride and groom*
Maleficent: I believe it's known as heckling. *pointing out Philippe* You folks saw what Leota did with him, didn’t you?
Evil Queen: The little green guy? Wow. I’m surprised he isn’t seasick. *rimshot and audience laughs and Philippe blushes*
Madame Leota: You got it. You’re heckling.
Maleficent: All right, we’ll see who brings out the best in the worst statements. Evil Queen, you think you can bring it?
Evil Queen: Maleficent, it’s already been brought!
Madame Leota: OOOOHHHHH!
Pain: Well, heckling does sound more fun than a boo-off.
Br'er Fox: Oh yeah.
Jean-Claude: No kidding.
Madame Leota: Hey, butt out! This is between these two ladies.
Jean-Claude: Je ne sais pas, but we've got a lot of room to butt in. *rimshot and laughter*
Panic: All right. We'll bite. As long as there aren't any jokes about anyone's mama, I think we're good.
Evil Queen: Good? I thought we were evil! *rimshot and laughter* At least the Queen of Hearts isn't here. She would've cut the competition down to size and I would've lost my head over her. *rimshot and laughter*
Maleficent: Don't get me started on Ursula. Quite the "fishy" character if you ask me. *rimshot and laughter. Flotsam and Jetsam shout offstage, "Hey stop making fun of our mistress."* It's not that hard, sushi-breath. I also know you're both too much of a cold fish to stand against me. *rimshot and laughter*
Philippe: *laughing* Oh, zat's a good one. I mean bad.
Madame Leota: Who cares? They're making us laugh, and at least we're not floating up to the ceiling.
Evil Queen: By the by, Leota. *Leota turns to her* Don't have tea with Uncle Albert. It's quite a gas if you ask me. *rimshot and laughter*
Sans: Wow, I thought my puns were bad.
Maleficent: So bad a mirror breaks every time you make one? Well, that's one way to make a joke. *rimshot and laughter as Sans says, "HEY!" while Papyrus laughs, "They got you! They got you!"*
Evil Queen: Got who? We're not taking anyone hostage...yet. *rimshot and laughter* I think Scar would make a very handsome throw rug.
All: Why do you say that, Evil Queen?
Evil Queen: Because whenever he gets dirty, I can take him out and beat him. *rimshot and laughter*
Madame Leota: *laughing* Okay, I think that's enough. I can't stop laughing. *Br'er Fox agrees as he and Br'er Bear are laughing silly*
Pain: Agreed. We've got another scene to move too. That's enough folks.
Maleficent: Enough? I'm just getting warmed up. *rimshot and laughter* But joking aside, I see your point.
Panic: *laughing* It's official. I can't stop laughing!
Br'er Fox: I can. It's a tie, a three-way tie!
Maleficent+Evil Queen: What?!?!?! A three-way?!?!??! Who's the third?
Br'er Fox+Br'er Bear: Madame Leota.
Madame Leota: *blushing* Hey I'm not that good.
Br'er Fox+Br'er Bear: Modesty.
Maleficent: I don't do ties--
Evil Queen: Me neither--
Maleficent+Evil Queen: --especially three-ways!
Madame Leota: It was an accident, I swear!
Evil Queen: We can cause accidents too.
Jean-Claude: Leave zat to zee Wicked Witch of zee West.
Maleficent: This isn't over yet.
Evil Queen: Not by a longshot. And tell Hades that we thank him for the invitation. *with Maleficent* But I'm not going! We'll get your head next, Leota!
Madame Leota: *as Evil Queen and Maleficent disappear* Actually, I was originally a head. You think this body came cheap? *rimshot and laughter* True story, folks.
Pain: OH NO! THIS IS BAD!
Panic: WE'RE IN TROUBLE! THE BOSS WON'T LIKE THIS WHEN HE FINDS OUT!
Br'er Fox+Br'er Bear+Madame Leota: You mean if he finds out!
Madame Leota: They’ll come around. Who’s next on the list?
Pain: *looks at the list* Captain Hook?
Madame Leota: *groan and facepalm* Not him again.
Br'er Fox+Br'er Bear: You know him?
Madame Leota: Unfortunately.
Panic: How?
Madame Leota: Some stories of the house I live in had the Master of the House having connections with pirates.
Pain: Did he touch cursed gold?
Leota: *aggravated sigh* I wish it were that simple.
Br'er Bear: Whatever. We've got a pirate to invite.
(Everyone scrambles off except Madame Leota. She sighs as Hades appears and hides behind a tree to listen.)
Madame Leota: I wonder how the Captain will react when he sees me...like this. *she and Hades suddenly hear singing* Well, I'd better get going. *calling offstage* Wait for me, you guys! *runs off as Hades comes out of hiding*
Hades: Those idiots! I can't believe this happened! I have to admit the heckling was funny though.
(Suddenly the 3 Fates pop out, making reference to Megan Trainor's "NO" as their entrance. They warn Hades, telling him how much time he has left. "What do you think I'm doing, waiting in line for a cheeseburger?" Hades asks as they leave. He ponders what to do next. Hearing the pirates singing, Hades decides to follow after the group and see what's going on. He vanishes as the scene changes to a pirate ship. An accordion-playing pirate (Elizabeth Midford) is seen on the plank singing while playing the accordion for a short solo complete with cadenza. Before she's finished singing, however, she's shot and tumbles into the water--SPLASH!--as Pain, Panic, and the others arrive, with Hades watching silently from afar.)
????: Short indeed. *blows the smoke off of the freshly-shot pistol he has*
Madame Leota: Captain Hook, I presume? Shooting someone in the middle of their cadenza, tsk, tsk tsk! Not good form you know!
???: Good form, lassie? BLAST, GOOD FORM! *marching over to Leota, the spotlight reveals Captain Hook (Le Paradox), showing a hook where his other hand would be to her* DID PAN SHOW GOOD FORM WHEN HE DID THIS TO ME?!?!
???: *coming over to them, revealing himself to be Smee (Bentley)* But captain, cutting your hand off is a harmless prank you could say!
Captain Hook: Ugh, I know. But seriously, feeding it to a crocodile, there's the rub. *sigh* The beast liked the taste of me so well he's been after me ever since, licking his lips for the rest of me. *sigh* That aside...Mr. Smee, pipe up the crew! Everyone, report for duty!
Smee: Ay ay, sir! All hands on deck! *blows into a small penny whistle, calling up the crew, among them a soaking Elizabeth Midford*
Captain Hook: Look alive, you swabs! We've a busy night tonight. Tonight is Halloween and we must prowl the seven seas! I need discipline and order for this voyage, *as Madame Leota says it at the same time with him, but in a bored tone* and keep a eye out for that scalawag Peter Pan. *Hook notices this and looks at Leota suspiciously*
Madame Leota: I've heard the old song and dance for quite sometime.
Pain+Panic: Second verse same as the first. *Br'er Bear and Br'er Fox nod in agreement*
Fionna: She's right cap'n. I'm bored.
Finn: Me too. I want to loot and pillage!
Cake: I wanna look for treasure, maybe some Halloween treats.
Jake: We're tired of chasing after Peter Pan!
Madame Leota: Yeah! In fact we're so tired, I think we should sing about it. *ahem* Argh--
Finn+Fionna: Argh--
Jake+Cake: Argh--
Charmy+Espio+Vector+Elizabeth+Ami+Yumi+Bee+Puppycat: Arrrrrrrrgh!
(As they jam out to "The Pirates who don't do anything" (Relient K version), Captain Hook tries to get everyone to settle down. It isn't until the end of the first verse that they finally settle down. Hook orders them to get to work swabbing the ship adding, "A tidy ship is a ready ship, ready to kidnap anyone." He then starts up singing "Yo ho (A Pirate's life for me)" with the crew reluctantly singing along. Hook and Smee head back into Hook's quarters, so Hook can ponder what to do with the "intruders". No sooner are they gone than Vector shushes them and they all look about. Bee and Charmy go over and listen near the door to check. The two of them look at Vector and nod happily.)
Vector: Okay, the coast is clear.
Charmy: All right!
Yumi: Yes!
Ami: Now we're talking.
Espio: I smell a mutiny.
Ruby: *Calling to the actors* I want an encore!
Bee: You heard the lucky lassie, an encore she shall get!
All: Let's party!
(They resume their rock version of "The Pirates who don't do anything" complete with electric guitar solo. Hook suddenly appears before they start on the third verse, wondering what's going on, but everyone had quickly gotten back to their posts before he opened the door. Hook shrugs it off and shuts the door, unknowingly locking Smee out. Smee is soon lifted up in the air and tossed about as they resume the rock number. The moment they're finished with the song, Hook opens the door again and sees--)
Captain Hook: What's this? A mutiny?
All (Except Smee, Hades, and Hook): MUTINY!
(As an instrumental rock version of "Yo ho (A pirate's life for me)" plays, all the pirates get the chance to fight their own captain and Smee. Just then, the full moon begins to appear and shine on Madame Leota, causing Hook to see her face.)
Captain Hook: *gasp* YOU! CURSED FORTUNETELLER! HOW DARE YOU END CAPTAIN GRACEY’S LIFE SO SOON!
Hades: Madame Leota?
Madame Leota: Come and fight me then, James Hook. Take your revenge!
All (except Hades and Hook): *while Hook and Leota fight like madmen* WOO!
Captain Hook: Crew, a deal! Help me destroy Madame Leota, and I'll let you have tonight off.
Finn: A nice deal, but how can we help?
Charmy+Espio+Elizabeth: Besides, she's already dead!
Captain Hook: What?
Madame Leota: *knocks the sword out of Hook's hand and aims her Keyblade at his throat. backing him towards the plank as the others chant with her* Walk the plank, walk the plank, walk the plank! Walk the plank!
Captain Hook: *worriedly as the chanting continues* Um, be reasonable. We could pillage on the weekends too if you desire. *he suddenly hears the familiar tick-tock sound and swallows hard*
Hades: *aside to audience after different colored cake mix cookies are given to the bride, the groom, and the audience* Hey folks, wanna see something fashionable? *he zaps the ship causing it to expand in size. Pain and Panic turn to where the captain's quarters are to see a walkway extending out from it and the colors changing to black and white, with a hint of red*
Pain: Um, guys.
Panic: Look!
(All turn around just in time to see Cruella DeVill (Donita Donata) burst through the door yelling, "Darlings!" and cackle evilly. She eyes each of the crew members, clearly impressed with some of their fashion choices. She then looks and sees--)
Cruella: Leota, darling!
Madame Leota: Um, how are you?
Cruella: Miserable, darling. Absolutely wretched. Now listen, in villainy you're either in or out.
Madame Leota: And clearly I'm out. Out of this show! *dives off the ship as Hook rolls his eyes and leaves too*
Cruella: Suit yourself, Leota. You're missing out on the show. After all, Cruella DeVill is never out!
(Smee and the rest of the pirate crew sit and watch "Project Cruella" with the audience. Pain and Panic had jumped ship too along with Br'er Fox and Br'er Bear (mostly because Br'er Bear got frightened that he might be next for her fashion show). During the show, some of the models hand out some black and white whoopie pies to the audience, the bride, and the groom. As the Evil-O-Meter fills up a little more, some of the happy haunts of the Haunted Mansion appear near Merida and her family's table.)
Tall Skinny Hitchhiker (Jet the Hawk): Leota's been gone longer than we thought. We'd better look for her.
Top hat Hitchhiker (Storm): I don't know. The boss said we gotta stay and haunt the Haunted Mansion.
Short Hitchhiker (Avion): But if we don't find her, Halloween just isn't fun without her. Besides, where's your sense of adventure?
Top hat+Tall skinny: It followed the guests home. *audience laughter and rimshot*
Short Hitchhiker: Hey Tightrope, do you see her?
(A spotlight shines on the Tightrope-walking parasol-carrying Happy Haunt (Blaze) just up above Aurora and her family's table.)
Tightrope: Nope, I--*noticing Leota coming out of the water* *gasp* I see her!
(They come over to her, she's wringing the water out of her hair.)
Tightrope: Whoa, what happened to you?
Madame Leota: Don't ask. *finishes wringing the water out of her hair, and uses her magic to dry herself off*
(Madame Leota then explains what's happened so far, and Hades' current predicament. The Short Hitchhiker suggests that the happy haunts make a contribution.)
Madame Leota: Yes, that's a good idea.
Ghost Host: But technically we're not villains.
Madame Leota: Come now. Some of us happy haunts had corruptible mortal states. *Constance snickers in agreement*
Br'er Fox: *calling offstage* Leota, where are ya?
Madame Leota: Oops, gotta run. The next villain on the way is a real snake!
(The moment she runs off, the Ghost Host turns to the audience. Hatbox Ghost and the others get ready as the orchestra preps up their theme. The Ghost Host waves his hands and pulls off a tablecloth on Rapunzel and Flynn's table, revealing four busts (Mario, Luigi, Silver, Tails). They suddenly open their eyes and as the happy haunts dance while the orchestra plays--)
Mario: When the crypt doors creak and the tombstones quake--
Luigi: Spooks come out for a swinging wake.
Silver: Happy haunts materialize--
Tails: --and begin to vocalize.
All 4: Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.
Tightrope: *as she dances by herself onstage* Now don't close your eyes and don't try to hide. Or a silly spook may sit by your side.
Emily: *holding her bouquet over her veiled face for a moment as her glowing heart beats to the beat* Shrouded in a daft disguise, they pretend to terrorize.
Tightrope+Emily: *as Tightrope looks wickedly at the audience while Emily reveals an innocent smile from behind her bouquet* Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.
All spirits: *poking their heads out from their hiding places* When you hear the knell of a requiem bell, weird glows gleam where spirits dwell. Restless bones etherealize, rise as spooks of every size.
(The Hitchhikers pop up behind Prince John and Dr. Eggman causing the two of them to scream in fright as Constance, a werecat, (Princess Peach) and Medusa (Wave) smile wickedly to the audience.)
Hatbox Ghost: As the moon climbs high o'er the dead oak tree--
Ghost Host: --spooks arrive for the midnight spree.
Constance+Werecat: Creepy creeps with eerie eyes--
Medusa: --start to shriek and harmonize.
Jacqueline: *pops up near the tables in the front* BOO! Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.
All: If you would like to join our jamboree, there's a simple rule that's compulsory. Mortals pay a token fee--
Hatbox+Ghost Host+Constance+Emily: Rest in peace, the haunting's free!
All: So hurry back we would like your company!
(All fade away like magic as the Evil-O-Meter has more added in. At first, the audience doesn't know what to say from fright, but Paige and Ruby begin the applause causing the applause to increase from all sides of the theatre. Some even cheer. Madame Leota stumbles through with the group, and they find themselves in a village.)
Madame Leota: Here's a familiar sight. *notices the palace in the background* Yup, it's Agrabah!
Guard (Knuckles): Hold it right there! *Madame Leota turns to see a guard with scimitar at her throat. She retorts by aiming her Keyblade at his* What are you doing here on a night like this?
Madame Leota: Is it that obvious? We're looking for Jafar. *No sooner is the name out of her lips, she suddenly disappears*
Pain+Panic: What the--?
Br'er Fox: Hey, what'd you do to Leota?
Guard: Wasn't me.
(Suddenly they spot a spark of fireworks in the distant night. A flash of smoke cuts the group short as Mitsuki D. Yumi leads the next piece in with her piano. Out of the smoke comes Iago (Lady Aska) holding a feathered fan. Iago says, "Lights! Smoke! Music! Camera! ACTION!" the last thing sung as she swings the fan around. All move aside to find various Heartless dancing on the stage. As the guard leaves, they move aside making way for the “Hollywood Wiz” himself, Jafar (Kaito). During the number, he uses his staff to give attire to Pain and Panic. As they admire their new duds, they don't notice Madame Leota's silhouette against the moon shining above Mira and her companions' table. It isn't until the end of the number and the applause that Jafar wills the spotlight to shine on Madame Leota as he says--.)
Jafar: Feast your eyes, everyone. On Madame Leota. *all gasp in awe as we see Madame Leota, her eyes opening at the mention of her name. Her attire has changed into a ghostly green bandeau top with harem pants with green veil hiding her whole face and she is high above on a tightrope with a blue lacy parasol* And to make this extra challenging...*willing his staff, alligators appear below the tightrope*
Beth: Is she really going to do this?
Colin: *covering his eyes* I can’t watch!
Talo: *Excitedly* I can!
Malo: I’ll admit to a pinch of curiosity.
Jafar: Maestro, if you would. *zaps a random audience member, entrancing her into conducting the orchestra*
(The orchestra plays the Dead Moon Circus theme along with "The Master's Song" from Dracula the Musical as Madame Leota does her tightrope act to the awe of the audience. All of a sudden, Madame Leota looks at the full moon outside in the middle of the tightrope, snapping her out of the trance. A "Confrontation" occurs between Madame Leota and Jafar, as the two of them struggle for control over her. On the last note that she belts out, "NEVER!" Madame Leota snaps out of it long enough to jump off the tightrope as the alligators disappear. It's then revealed that she'd landed on a magic carpet, with her outfit reverted back to the one she started out with and is flown over to them as the audience applauds and cheers as the Evil-O-Meter fills up just a little bit. Madame Leota slips off the carpet and thanks it as it flies back into the audience.)
Madame Leota: *dusting herself off, she glares at Jafar* What in the name of Ron Clements was that for? We might as well not give you the invitation.
Pain: Hey, Panic, I've got an idea. *rummages through Madame Leota's satchel after obtaining her permission for it*
Iago: Um, boss. What are they doing? *Jafar shrugs, and Madame Leota turns away from her before she could say anything to her*
Pain: Here it is. *He pulls out two grass skirts*
Panic: Are you expecting me to put on that and dance the hula?
Pain: *handing one to Panic* HERE! Besides, if it makes Leota better, I'm up for it. Maestro. *Mitsuki D. Yumi plays some starting notes*
Pain+Panic: *as they dance about trying to get Madame Leota to smile* Are you tired of feeling beat? Are you craving something to eat? Come, forget your troubles and sink your teeth into a Luau Hawaiian treat! *Seeing it isn't working, they kick it up a notch by dancing to the opening of Super Mario Bros.*
Br'er Fox: Guys, this isn't working.
Madame Leota: *closing her eyes and bringing her hands together in prayer* Dark spirits from the grave come forth!
Br'er Bear: Oh no! Back away everyone.
Iago: What’s with him?
Br'er Fox: I told Br’er Bear a scary story once, and he’s been scared of dark spirits coming after him ever since.
Madame Leota: Lift us! LIFT US! And show us, show us the way back! *wind and green energy surround the group causing the scenery to spin around them. Br'er Bear gets terribly dizzy from the scenery spinning around, and also starts to float up with the others*
Br'er Bear: Br'er Fox?
Br'er Fox: What is it, Br'er Bear?
Br'er Bear: HEEEEEELLLLLLP!
Pain+Panic: Whoa! I'm getting dizzy!
Iago: Normally I'd fly but in this case, this is ridiculous. *Jafar whacks her gently on the head with his snake staff* HEY!
(Evil laughter issues from Madame Leota's lips as she kneels before the storm. She then stands up to the first strains of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" with the other happy haunts joining the fun. This little number fills the Evil-O-Meter up, almost enough to be 100% full. They all soon find themselves in the Underworld. Jafar and Iago spot the other villains and quickly regroup (Iago with the sidekicks, Jafar with the main bad) after Iago shakes herself back to normal as she was windblown.)
Br'er Bear: Ugh, Br’er Fox. I think I’m gonna be sick. *Br’er Fox grabs a nearby empty barf bag and hands it to him.* Thanks. *he barfs into it as Hades suddenly appears startling everyone*
Hades: What's all the racket? And where's the Evil Queen and Maleficent? *sigh* Perhaps there's no hope left after all.
Evil Queen: *appearing behind him with Maleficent* Perhaps not.
Madame Leota: Your highness, your excellency.
Maleficent: *noticing the Ghost Host, Emily, Constance, and Hatbox* You four are here too?
Emily: Of course, Maleficent. *curtsey*
Constance: It was Madame Leota's idea to contribute evil of our own to the Evil-O-Meter.
Br'er Bear: Wait a second. You haunts aren't evil.
Br'er Fox: He's right.
Evil Queen: If I recall right, these happy haunts were mortals before.
Maleficent: Yes, and these foolish mortals were in corruptible mortal states.
All: *except the happy haunts, Madame Leota, Ghost Host, Constance, Emily, and Hatbox* (realization) Oh.
Pain: Yay! You all made it!
Panic: But wait, why did you and the Evil Queen make it?
Maleficent: The trip to Mexico got canceled. However, I'm here because we villains must always stick together.
Evil Queen: My reason is the same as Maleficent's too.
Hades: Et tu, Leota?
Madame Leota: I messed up on a spell and got turned into well...*pointing out her human form* this. I wanted to ask for your help to turn me back into a floating head in a crystal ball. But then I ran into Pain and Panic, who explained to me your predicament. So I decided to help out with the other happy haunts, it's the least we can do.
Yzma: So let's get this straight. The Lord of the Underworld needs our help?
Hades: Soon to be ex-Lord of the Underworld.
Madame Leota: Halloween isn't over yet. It's just getting started!
Smee: She's right, Hades! Don't give up! You must try!
Queen of Hearts: Surely, you and Pain and Panic got some evil in the Underworld thanks to our humble contributions.
Hades: Yes, we did. But look. *points out the Evil-O-Meter* It's not enough.
Madame Leota: What about you? You need to contribute your share of evil too.
Oogie: She's right you know. Hell isn't the same without its king.
Lock+Shock+Barrel: Yeah, we're your biggest fans!
Hades: Cute, real cute.
Dr. Facilier: You have evil too, Hades. Just look within you.
Scar: Facilier speaks the truth. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place as one of many villains to many heroes and heroines.
Hades: *defeated sigh* I tried, but someone defeated me.
All: *gasp*
Captain Hook+Jafar: My word!
Smee+Scar: Oh my!
Oogie+Kronk: You're joking!
Lock+Shock+Barrel: Holy Tim Burton!
Dr. Facilier+Iago: Seriously?
Evil Queen: *gasp* You don't mean--
Maleficent: Does he mean--
Yzma: He can't mean--
Madame Leota: *smugly* Oh yeah. I think I know who you mean. Are you talking about Hercules?
Hades: *anger suddenly building within him at the mention of "Hercules"* NOT THAT NAME!
Madame Leota+Maleficent+Evil Queen: YES THAT NAME!
(All the villains except Hades lead the song. "It's time, Hades! Hear his name!" the villainesses shout. Every villain and their sidekicks including Pain and Panic all shout out Hercules's name to Hades. The happy haunts quickly lead the audience into helping them out with this as they noticed it's working. For while they're chanting Hercules's name, Hades is struggling to not give in to his anger at the mention of that name. Just then, everyone notices smoke fuming from Hades's head which cues Tightrope, Werecat, Medusa, and the Hitchhikers to bring over the Evil-O-Meter to where the group stood.)
Pain+Panic: Uh oh!
Tightrope+Medusa: Heads up!
Madame Leota+Emily+Constance+Ghost Host+Hatbox: HE'S GONNA BLOW!
Hitchhikers+Lock+Shock+Barrel: TAKE COVER!
(All quickly rush out of the way as Hades gives in to his anger at Hercules causing the Evil-O-Meter to fill up to 100%. Noticing this, he laughs in triumph.)
Hades: *as audience applauds and cheers while the Fates appear (one in sunglasses, one in a lei, the other wearing a sombrero)* Well ladies, fail me now. Bada-bing, bada-boom, KAPOW!
Mitsu: Well done, Lord of the Underworld.
Hades: Aww, stop it ladies. Thanks. But to be fair, if it weren't for these folks here--
Torte: Madame Leota, whatever are you doing here?
Mochi: And how did you become human?
Madame Leota+Hades: It's a long story!
Hades: That aside, what's with the getups?
Mitsu: This whole Halloween night has been tiresome.
Torte: We're thinking of partying up tonight, and then going on a vacation.
Mochi: Oh yes. A vacation does sound nice. We were thinking--
All 3: --Mexico. *all laugh as short bits of Voltaire's "Day of the Dead" and "The Three Caballeros" are played* *to the other villains* And thank you so much for helping the Lord of the Underworld out.
Br'er Bear: Anytime, ladies.
Br'er Fox: Think nothing of it.
Jafar: But we couldn't take all the credit. After all, if Madame Leota didn't help us out, Hades surely wouldn't have been here long. *Hades nods in agreement, Captain Hook reluctantly shakes Madame Leota's hand with his only hand. He then taps Madame Leota on the shoulder* Perhaps you should have a reward.
Madame Leota: An eternal reward? No thanks, I'm already dead. *rimshot and everyone laughs* But I thought about it on my journey. I suppose I could keep my human form for the night.
Hades: Okay, now that that's over with, how should we end our story?
Madame Leota: Leave it to me! *She then uses her magic to dim the lights down on her*
(She then leads the song and dance of "I put a spell on you" magicking a wedding cake right in front of Ruby and Erik on their table. As the audience applauds and cheers, the show fades into darkness as the villains say, "Hurry back, hurry back!" over and over. While this happens, a spotlight shines on Madame Leota's head as she smiles while Tarot cards dance around her head. She then says, "Hurry back! Hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate...If you decide to join us...Make final arrangements now...We've been dying to have you...Hurry back! Hurry back!" as the curtain falls.)
I used Relient K's "The Pirates who don't do anything" along with an instrumental of "Yo Ho" for the Captain Hook scene.
For the Grim Grinning Ghosts number, I used the Sing-Along Songs version of it (from Disneyland Fun and Let's Go to Disneyland Paris to be exact).
Medusa, Tightrope, and the Werecat appear in the number as a :nod: to the ride itself (Tightrope being a reference to the stretching room scene, where her picture shows her balancing on a rope above an open-mouthed crocodile. The werecat and Medusa are from the changing portraits you see on the way to your "dark carriage" or Doom Buggy if you like to call it that.)
I also made a joke about the Hitchhikers' sense of adventure following riders home as a nod to the end of the ride where the Ghost Host says, "Now I will lift the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home."
I used two Cirque du Solei numbers after being inspired from watching a DWTS episode where the dancers danced to numbers from Cirque du Solei (specifically the "Bella Donna Twist" from Kurios and "Hollywood Wiz" from Paramour).
Some of the jokes for this part and part 1 I had my sis AnaxErik4ever discuss with me on and contribute. Some of them I even made myself.
AnaxErik4ever and I even imagined and planned out what Oogie would look like costume-wise if he were in a more human-like form.
The Orin Scrivello thing Hades says is a :nod: to another Menken & Ashman work, "Little Shop of Horrors".
In the Dark of the Night belongs to 20th Century Fox. I just threw it in for an entr'acte number to fit the Halloween theme.
"Luau Hawaiian Treat" is from The Lion King Jr. (I swear, it was stuck in my head for quite a bit after I first heard it. The first part of it before they started singing made me think of the Super Mario Bros. theme.)
Italics are singing.
Everything except my OCs belongs to their respective owners.
© 2016 - 2024 QueenIchigoHatsune
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